Dyson's A Nice'n

My vacuum cleaner's broken.
The bugger's gone and died.
I thought it must be matted up
with gunky stuff inside.

So, first I took the hosepipe off
(a necessary evil)
and emptied out the navel fluff,
the pins and pennies, other stuff,
the dust (and, God!, there was enough)
and found it, somehow, also scoffed
a solitary weevil.

So, having scattered all about
the stuff extracted from the spout,
proceed to take the liner out.

This thing is burtsting with detritus!
To my dismay, the silly blighters
had designed, at its extreme,
a plastic slide and open seam
which, liberated from its place,
exploded debris in my face!

So I insist there's no obscener
misnomer than vacuum 'cleaner'!

- by Prajna Pranab, early 2000's